


A Lesson in Trust

by runfive



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Female Runner Five, Gen, Season 5 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:55:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22490401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runfive/pseuds/runfive
Summary: ***Season 5 Spoilers***Runner Five learning to trust Steve Sissay, Steve Sissay learning to trust himself.-Alternatively, four times Steve asks Five if she trusts him and the one time she says yes.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32





	A Lesson in Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Alternatively, 
> 
> Runner Five's google history: how to trust a guy who stole your best friend's baby when every other time you trusted someone ended with a lot of pain and dead people?
> 
> Steve Sissay's google history: how to turn your back on the only type of life you know in order to make your life worth living?

The first time Steve asks Five why she doesn’t trust him, she barely gives him a second look. Steve’s not an idiot. He knows something happened down in the caves, something Five’s not telling him about. How she just _happened_ to know which direction to take, how she knew about the hidden door when no one else did. Whatever it is, Five’s not talking and Steve feels like he’s owed some sort of explanation after they’d both just nearly been killed.

She’s passing the headsets off to Sam before their post mission briefing when Steve decides-to hell with it-and just asks her. She doesn’t even turn around. 

“I know your type,” she says shortly. 

He’s not sure if that’s meant to hurt him, but it doesn’t because- “Kind of like looking into a mirror isn’t it?”

That stops her. She turns around, a suspicious look in her eyes, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

It’s his turn to be surprised. He thought that answer would be obvious. “Well you’re good at following orders too aren’t you?” 

Her eyes widen and for a second he thinks she might break her annoyingly stoic composure but then she just pushes past him and walks off. Sam who until this point has got on with him quite well looks like he’s about to throw a punch at him before reconsidering and chasing after Five.

He stands there confused for a second trying to figure out what he’d said. He thought he paid her a compliment.

*

Steve has to admit (and he absolutely _hates_ to admit it), he’s a tiny bit afraid of Runner Five. Not physically afraid, she’s a skilled fighter but Steve’s pretty sure he could take her if it really came to it. No, it’s because he can’t figure her out, and if he can’t figure her out, he has no idea how to factor her into any tactical plan he makes with the Minister. 

Maybe it’s the fact that she barely talks but he can’t get any sort of reading on her. She doesn’t flat out rebuke him like De Luca does (though she stands there with an annoyingly gleeful look on her face as Janine calls him cheap and obvious), but she’s not open to any of his advances either, platonically or romantically. 

At least with Janine De Luca he knows where he stands. With Runner Five it’s a constant puzzle she refuses to give him all the pieces to. 

*

For all that Runner Five is a mystery, he thinks that she might be a tiny bit more damaged than she lets on. But she’s so damn stoic all the time that anyone who didn’t know her would hardly notice, because she’s the type that refuses to let anyone see. 

He only sees it twice. 

The first time, they’re following the Edda’s instructions through the caves. It’s barely there but she flinches slightly when the bombs go off. At first that surprises him. The great Runner Five, hero of Abel Township, startled by a few bombs. 

Later that night he’s reading her Ministry file and learns just exactly how Moonchild made her kill those hundreds of people on the Comansys ships. He files that information in the back of his mind, but can’t help but feel the slightest bit guilty as he’s setting that car bomb up. He doesn’t know why. It’s not like he cares about her feelings. 

The second time is months later after a mission left Five with a cut foot (and an angry refusal to let him help her walk their way back). Janine insisted they stop at New Canton, which was closer, to make sure Five was okay.

(“Janine _please_ honestly I’d rather die than spend another second with him.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he ended up muttering back. Five gave him an even look but didn’t say anything else the rest of the way.) 

Which is how he found himself sitting on a hospital bed watching Five argue with a New Canton nurse trying to take a blood sample from her. 

“I wasn’t bitten this is completely unnecessary.” 

“It’s standard procedure, ma'am. You could have come across the virus through your injury and been unaware of it-”

“I know how it works,” she says stiffly, folding her arms across her chest. 

Steve knows Five is the type who could be shot and still insist she doesn’t need medical attention but he’s never seen her actually refuse to comply with any of the doctors. He’s a little intrigued. 

The nurse sighs and uncaps the syringe, when suddenly Five stumbles backward, slipping to the floor and scrambling backwards against the wall. She’s got her arms over her head, and from the way her chest is rapidly rising and falling, it looks like she’s probably having trouble breathing too. He racks his brain trying to figure out what happened in the last two seconds. His mind slips instinctively back to Five’s file, to- 

Ah. 

Admittedly the ‘Professor Van Ark’ page in the file was the most interesting at the time. After all he was The Minister’s husband. He really hadn’t put much thought into Five’s time with him. The New Canton nurses look panicked, at a loss for what to do. Probably not use to working on someone as high ranking as Runner Five before, she’s a celebrity these days after all. Steve would find it amusing if Five wasn’t currently having a full blown panic attack. 

“May I offer some assistance?”

“I don’t-I’m-”

“Go to the comms building, find Nadia and tell her to get Sam Yao on a headset.” 

“To get-what?”

“Now, please.” 

The nurse hurries out of the room and Steve stands there a few meters away from Five. He’s dealt with this type of thing before, some covert ops he’s been on-people just don’t come back the same. But he wouldn’t dare try to approach Five in the state she’s in. She’d probably love a good excuse to hit him.

The nurse runs back in five minutes later with a headset, and hands it over to Steve, a distressed and confused look on his face. “I’m sorry uh, Sir, but I don’t see how a headset will-”

He turns up the volume and Sam’s tinny voice comes through, agitated and worried _“Runner Five, Five can you hear me? What’s going on, what’s happened, are you okay?”_

He keeps it short. “It’s Steve, Sam. Five’s not looking too good. One of the nurses tried to take her blood, and well...”

He can practically hear Sam gripping his hair in frustration and distress over the headset. _“I told- Bernard to tell them to read the medical files of our runners why didn’t-here just-God let me talk to her-”_

“That’s why I called you, love.”

He holds the headset out to Five, standing close enough that she can hear it, but far enough away that, well, he’s outside hitting distance. 

“ _Five it’s Sam, can you hear me?”_

She perks up at his voice. Bringing her arms slightly away from her head. “Sam…?” she sounds confused, like she doesn’t know where she is exactly. Well, he’s seen it before. He’s been through it before, not that he would ever share that with her.

_“Five listen to me, it’s okay. You’re okay, you’re safe.”_

Sam sounds like he’s been through it before with her too. He hands her the headset and she takes it from him slowly. They make eye contact for a second and he sees the chagrin in her eyes, but there’s something else too. Gratitude? He can’t make it out before she abruptly looks away. 

He walks off and let’s them have some privacy.   
  


He’s sitting against the outside hospital wall, and chuckles when he hears Five coming out still telling the nurses to get off her back. 

He stands up when he sees her and she stops in front of him, her lips pursed. She turns around like she’s going to leave before seeming to change her mind and turning back to face him. “Listen. I don’t usually-what happened in there was-I’m a perfectly competent runner-”

“I’m sure you are.” 

He means it sincerely, but her eyes flash dangerously and he can see the suspicion return to her expression. 

“And if you-,” she stops angrily, struggling to find words, “if you tell anyone-”

“Really Five, why would I do that?” 

She falters, and to his surprise she actually looks a bit cowed. He didn’t mean to snap at her but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t frustrated with her constant aggression and mistrust. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “Look Five, I know you don’t trust me, or hell, even like me.” He waits a second but she doesn’t argue the point, so he continues, “but I’m not the type of person you think I am.” 

Surprise briefly crosses her face, before her expression turns hard again. “Okay,” she says shortly and turns to head toward the New Canton gates. He shakes his head in half disbelief, and follows her. 

As they exit New Canton she turns to him and says genuinely, “Thank you for calling Sam for me.” 

It’s more than he ever expected from her. 

“My pleasure.” 

*

Steve never calls Five ‘love’. 

Hell, he even tries it with Janine of all people. And despite what Janine says, it’s not a tactic to gain people’s trust. Alright maybe it is just a bit, at first. But he does mean it as genuine affection. There was only one other person he’d never dared to try it with. A person Runner Five sometimes reminds him of.

“You were trained by Sara Smith weren’t you?”

“I-yeah,” she looks up at him, curiously, “Did you...did you know her.”

“We...crossed paths a few times.” he says vaguely and she snorts. He supposes she’s heard the same kind of vague rhetoric from Sara whenever she discussed her past. “I hear the two of you were quite close.” 

Her face falls and he wonders if he said the wrong thing. It’s been a few years but...

“You know...you remind me of her sometimes. The whole pulling a gun on me when we first met.” She laughs weakly, “You know I didn’t trust her either.” 

She looks at him and he can tell from the way her eyebrows crease that she can see her words have registered. 

“I don’t mean it like that Steve, it’s just…” 

“I get it, it’s fine.” 

Her lips are tight but she keeps running without a response. 

Later that night he’s lying in bed unable to sleep, trying to piece together why he’s even trying to befriend Abel. Why he joined Sam’s Demons and Darkness night when he’d asked Steve to come, why he’s planning a date night with Kefilwe for the next evening, why he’s trying to make small talk with Runner Five who clearly doesn’t want to be his friend. 

It’s for Sigrid’s _mission._ He insists to himself.

A smaller part of his brain knows that’s not quite the whole truth. That there’s something about the little annoying rag-tag misfit Abel team that he doesn’t quite understand. 

Something there that he’s never really had. 

He didn’t think about it for a second when he snatched Sam and the doctors’ baby from Runner Five’s hands, and handed it off to a zombie. 

It’s all he _can_ think about when he blows up the roof of the repeater station from his helicopter. 

*

The second time he asks, she gives him a terrible, terrible look and suddenly he remembers that despite her quiet demeanor and unassuming presence, this is the runner who killed Van Ark with a rocket launcher, who murdered hundreds of people on the Comansys ships. For a split second he feels genuine fear. 

He doesn’t ask her again for a long time. 

*

“We can’t trust him, Janine.”

“Um, I’m right here.” 

“I’m sorry, what I meant to say was, he’s a piece of shit, Janine.” 

Janine pinches the bridge of her nose, looking for all the world like a tired parent, “As I have already said six times, we do not have any sort of choice in this matter Runner Five.” 

Five snaps her mouth shut, her lips tight. Steve knows Five respects Janine too much to argue the point, but she shoots him a deathly glare nonetheless and Steve suspects she’s still remembering the baby kidnapping. 

Still it doesn’t bother him as much as it used to. Because he’s made a choice for the first time in his life. To do something more than just blindly follow orders. To do something _good_. 

He’s going to prove Five wrong. 

*

“Five you need to eat,” he says, trying to keep his tone gentle without being patronizing. She’s lost too much weight in the five days she was in Ian’s box. She gives him a miffed look and stabs her potatoes a little harder but doesn’t put them in her mouth. Steve sighs. 

The quiet is broken by an angry voice calling out Five’s name from across the mess hall. Five turns, dropping her fork, as Cameo storms towards their table. “How could you, _how could you?”_

 _“_ Cameo,” the man behind her-Runner Fifteen-tugs at her arm, shooting a worried glance at the guards by the doorway.

“Let go of me,” she says jerking her arm away before slamming her hands down on the table. “How _could_ you Five?” 

Five turns away from Cameo, back to her uneaten plate, with her poker face perfectly intact. 

“We all kept fighting in here because we knew you were out there fighting for us. How could you just join her side like that?”

The man behind her tugs more insistently at her arm, saying in a fast and quiet voice, “We don’t know why Runner Five-look at the bruises on her face Cameo-,”

“So what? _So what?_ ” She’s practically yelling now and he can see Five look over warily at the guards on the far right of the room who are starting to notice the situation. “She’s been hurting all of us, none of us caved to her.” Cameo looks at Five in disgust, “No, I know Runner Five, she couldn’t be coerced by a few bruises. She chose this.” 

The room had gone silent. Steve can see Runner Five grimace before putting on a cool expression and standing up to face Cameo, “I’m not a fool Cameo, and I suggest you don’t be one either.”

He could hear a pin drop in the room. He supposed this was it. Any hope that any of the Abel residents held that their former friend had not betrayed them was lost. Cameo’s eyes widen and she steps back like five slapped her. Steve suspects that if it had been anyone else besides her former head of runners, Cameo would have fought back, he suspects Five knows this. Instead she just gives Five a venomous look and storms off, the man behind her shooting worried looks at the guards as he runs after her.

Five sits back down as murmurs roll over the room. Whispers of hurt, of betrayal. Of anger. Steve gets to his feet, “What are you all looking at? You heard Runner Five, get back to what you’re doing or you'll all be punished.” 

The murmurs quiet but the tension in the room is palpable. Five curls her trembling hand into a fist and shoves it in her jacket pocket before anyone can see. Steve grabs her gently by the elbow, “C’mon. Come on Five let’s go.”

They take a walk around the orchard, one of the last quiet places where they can talk without the likelihood of being overheard.

She’s quiet for a few minutes, looking up at birds fluttering through the trees. “All this time, all I wanted was to be back here. It’s funny it doesn’t even feel like the same place I left.” She gives a hollow chuckle, “Well at least Cameo is helping my alibi. She’s right, no one is going to believe I caved under torture in only a few days. They’ll all know it was a choice.” 

Steve recognizes the bitterness in her voice. “It gets easier, Five.” Then-when Five doesn’t respond, “Cameo will come around, eventually.” 

“No she won’t, not until she learns the truth. Maybe not even then. I’ve been in her shoes.” Steve follows her glance as she says that, where it looks past the buildings to the statue of Sara Smith. “Still, at least she didn’t hit me. You were right, Lobatse slaps hard.” 

“We will have to let her in on it at some point soon, we need more people in on the plan for it to work.”

“I suppose so,” she says quietly, then pauses for a second, grimacing and grabbing her rib cage.

“I’m sorry Five,” Steve says immediately. 

Five gives a hollow laugh. “That one was Ian actually.” She drops her hand and keeps walking, “Where is Ian anyway, I haven’t seen him at all in the past two days,” she says, in a way that makes it clear that she’s perfectly happy with the fact. 

“The Minister’s been keeping him away from you. Think she’s worried that his presence might bring up some ah, bad memories, make you not want to be on her side anymore.”

Five shakes her head slowly, “If she thinks that Ian’s the only thing I’ve got a problem with then I guess I’ve got her convinced. Still I guess it’s good she’s keeping him away. I might just instinctively kill him on sight.” 

The corners of Steve’s mouth twitch, “You’re going to have to interact with him eventually, we all make up Sigrid’s cabinet now, and while I would enjoy seeing you murder Ian, that might in fact blow your cover.”

“Still might be worth it.” She stops suddenly, a second time, and he’s afraid she’s in pain again, but she just looks at him. It’s an expression he doesn’t recognize, not one at least, that he’s ever seen directed at him. “I’m sorry for how I treated you before, Steve.”

He takes a sharp inhale. That wasn’t what he was expecting. “Well, you had your reasons.” 

Her mouth twitches up at the corners into a semblance of a smile. “I did. But still, I’m sorry. You’re a good man, Steve. I think”

*

The third time he asks she doesn’t answer right away and he thinks maybe asking again was a mistake. Still, weeks of having to rely on each other, of only having each other to confide in, does something to a person. And it’s not a game to him anymore, or a secret agenda for Sigrid’s plans, or even simple curiosity. He wants her trust. He wouldn’t say he’s earned it yet, after what he did to Sam’s baby he knows it won’t come easily. But he’s proven he’s had her back at least. 

But for all that they’ve gotten to know each other (even if it is just to talk to each other enough to exclude Ian from the conversation) Five is still half a mystery to him. And sometimes he finds he doesn’t understand at all the things she says. 

After a few moments of silence she answers. 

“You remind me of someone.”

It’s not a no, but it’s certainly not a yes. “And?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

She stops, considers. “And you’re not him.”

(A year later they’re going through some old photo albums that Sam found when cleaning out the comms shack (“Janine’ll be so proud when she gets back!”) 

They’re laughing over the old photos, reminiscing about the early Abel years when a particular photo catches Steve’s eye. It’s Five standing next to a muscular man in a ridiculous green jumper he doesn’t recognize. But it’s Five’s expression that he notices. The happiness is evident in her eyes. 

“Who’s that?” He asks, pointing to the photo. He keeps his tone careful, if it’s a dead friend he doesn’t want to upset anyone but strangely it’s Peter who tenses and the mood in the room has suddenly become uncertain.

It’s Five who breaks the silence, “That’s Simon. He picked up that ugly green yarn for Jody on a run as a joke, and she knitted him that sweater to get back at him. He didn’t take it off for a week.” 

The tension breaks as Sam and Jody start laughing and they turn back to the photos, Doctor Myers seeming to deliberately deflect attention by pointing out an old photo of Sam tangled up in the comms shack wires. It’s too weird though for Steve to just drop it. He goes over the name in his head. He recognizes it. Simon Lauchlan. Abel Runner Three. Betrayed everyone. Died. He’d read the file.

He looks back up at everyone and there’s something imperceptible that he can’t quite make out. The way Five and Peter are looking at each other. The way she looks at him sometimes. Like she’s found someone she lost.

Simon Lauchlan, betrayed Abel. Died saving everyone from Moonchild. Possibly immortal due to experiments performed by Professor Van Ark-

Oh. he thinks. _Oh.)_

*

“Steve what are you planning” Five murmurs as they wheel the gurney back to the main square. 

“Don’t worry about it, love.” 

“Steve he’ll kill you,” Five hisses. 

“He won’t, he knows Sigrid needs me.”

Five steps in front of the gurney forcing him to stop. “Why can’t I do it instead?” 

He looks at her, her clothes are stained with Owen’s blood. 

“You know why, Five. I’m more expendable than you.” 

Her mouth twitches, “No, I’m not having any more of that bullshit, I’m done with it.”

“Five-” he cuts her off, they don’t have the time, he leans in, quietly “Do you trust me?” 

She stares at him. 

“Only when you’re not planning on being an idiot,” she snaps, but moves out of the way and helps him wheel the gurney back nonetheless. If the situation weren’t so dire he would have laughed. It’s the best answer he’s gotten.   
  


Five waits until Ian is out of sight before dropping to her knees beside Steve and Lobatse.

“Steve-”

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re _not_ you stupid, self sacrificing, son of a bitch.” 

He gives her a light chuckle before gripping his head in pain. 

“Five help me get him up,” Kefilwe says, her hand under his back steady despite the shock in her eyes. 

“You got the key?” 

“Yes.”

“And do you trust me now Five?”

“ _Yes_ ,” she says pointedly.

“Then it was worth it.” 

She grimaces as they lift him to his feet, “If people need to be hit in the face with a brick to earn my trust, I think I need to reevaluate.” 

He gives her a light chuckle, “Never change, darling.” 

*

Steve wakes up to blinding pain and Five’s worried eyes hovering over him.

Memories swim in his vision, The Minister, Ian, the chariot, Kefilwe.

_Kefilwe_

He reaches down and tries to push himself up off the rock he’s lying on before his swollen wrist gives out on him and he hits the rock again hard, groaning in pain.

“Easy,” Five’s voice is quiet, like she’s talking to a wounded animal. “Don’t move, let me help you.” She reaches behind his back and sits him up. Her hands are gentle but it’s all he can do to keep from doubling back over in pain.

“Kefilwe…” he gets out between clenched teeth.

“She’s fine, she’s gone to the reconnaissance point to meet the others. We’re heading over there now.” She wraps his arm over her shoulders and pushes him up into a standing position, helping him slowly walk back towards the forest without saying anything else.

Something’s wrong. Even in his half coherent state he can sense it. Five’s too tense, and her eyes are too tight, and it’s so faint he’s not even sure it’s there but he thinks he can feel a tremor in the hand on his back.

A chill runs down his spine 

“Someone’s dead.” 

“No one’s dead,” Five says quickly, but her voice is tight, clipped, and her face is tinged grey.

He shifts under her arm so his body is angled in front of hers, forcing her to stop in her tracks. “Who is it Five, what’s happened?” She looks at him, her eyes tight and Steve’s heart thumps wildly in Fives pause. If something happened to someone because of him...

“They took her. They took Janine.” 

His heart drops out. 

Five seems to struggle with herself for a second before adding shakily, “and Sam.”

“Oh Five…” Steve could kill himself, he could. The base of the resistance found, Janine and Sam captured, and for what? For his life? His vision is going dark again, and he struggles to stay upright. Some good it would do passing out again now. He feels Five shift under him, taking more of his weight before they keep walking. 

“Shouldn’t have..come for me,” he manages to get out as they move slowly through the trees. 

“Don’t be stupid.”

“Five-,”

“I mean it Steve, shut up, it’s not your fault. You don’t think we knew it was a trap? Sigrid knew we would come for you and we came anyway. That’s what we do for our family.” 

Despite the pain coursing through his body, and the fear in his heart, something resolutely, achingly happy thumps in Steve’s chest at Five’s words. Like a piece of himself he didn’t know he was missing finally clicking into place.

“Oh...I never really had one of those. That’s nice, thanks Five,” his words are slurring now, but he can’t find it in him to care over the lifting feeling in his chest. “You know Five, all those times I asked you-but-I never really told you that I trust you too.”

Five rolls her eyes, “You’re getting me concerned about your brain Sissay, let’s get you back to Lobatse so she can check for a concussion.” 

Though the pain is still there in her eyes, Five gives him a small smile, and Steve knows that despite all the terrible, terrible things happening around them, they’re going to win. He didn’t know before, what it was like to have something worth fighting for. Maybe that’s why he was so keen on following orders, he hadn’t trusted himself to know. After all his father didn’t. But as he looks at Five, and in the distance Kefilwe, and the rest of the Abel family, he knows that he’s finally found it. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> sir that’s my emotional support found family.
> 
> I always wondered about Five and Steve’s relationship, and how Five after being burned so many times can forgive a guy for stealing (multiple) babies and working for the minister to being bros with him. and how steve can go from working as a mercenary and working as ‘clearly a bad guy’ Sigrid Hakkinen’s right hand man doing sketchy things just cause someone told him to, to fighting against everything he had stood for before. Steve’s line ‘What do I want my life to have been for?’ always got me. I feel like him and five are good foils or parallels or something. I know those are two completely different things but english isn’t my strength so I hope you enjoyed this fic and this half coherent paragraph about me trying to explain why i’m writing steve fic in the year of our lord 2020 thanks


End file.
